the quintessential bus stop story (it's long but goooooood)

This is it. The most awkward bus stop experience I've ever had.

I was walking to the bus stop after getting off work and as I did I passed by a man sitting on a bench (we'll call him Trevor) . By the was he was acting and sitting I knew that he was autistic. As I was walking past he offered me the fist, so I pounded it, threw in a "right on" and kept walking. No big deal.

I sat down and proceeded to wait for the bus. A couple minutes later I notice Trevor get up and walk over in my direction and sit down next to me. It's all good I don't mind sitting next to strangers or even making new friends. Trevor must think I'm nice or something for pounding him. Trevor doesn't talk he just makes gestures and throws in a few grunts.

He sits down and gives me the rock so I pound it again. Then he shakes my hand. Then we slide into the hands upward, fingers over the top, bros handshake. So Trevor's got style, cool. Except he doesn't let go of my hand. He then proceeds to kiss my hand. Except he didn't really kiss it. More like he just holds my hand against the lip part of his face. Weird. I'm playing it calm, don't want to make a scene. After about 5 seconds I pull my hand away with a "alright...cool uhhhuhuh." (stalling 1... stalling 2...) Then he hugs me! Ya. As he's hugging me he's also vigorously slapping my back. So I give him a couple slaps on the back and start to push him away a bit. Finally we're just sitting next to each other again. No contact.

So I'm thinking, maybe he's got all the greetings out of the way. WRONG. He pounds me again, then continues with the entire thing all over again. The hand shake, the hand to face, the hug, all of it. So I just kinda roll with it because I don't know this guy, I don't want him to freak out and start yelling and make a scene or something if I refuse to shake his hand. After about 3 of these close introduction cycles I start praying that my bus will come reeeeeeeeal soon. He tries to shake my hand a fouth time and that's when I'm not cool with it anymore so I try to distract him. I start asking questions.
"Is that your lunch box, whathca got in there?"
"Cool notepad, what's it for?"
Nothing phases him he still really want to shake my hand. And he won't let go, and he's got a really strong grip. So I'm pulling my hand away but not to hard cause I don't want to hurt or upset him. He ignores all my quetions until "I like your braclet, what is it?" That got his attention. He then notices that I'm wearing a braclet too. And he tries to take. Ahhh, don't mess with my hemp.

I pull my hands away and look for something to keep them busy so he won't touch them anymore. So I pull out my cell phone and pretend like I'me texting. This time when he tries to shake my hand I'm "busy" and I tell him I can't shake right now.

-Sidenote- the entire time I'm honestly thinking 2 things
1. What would Jesus do in this situation?
2. When is my bus coming?

Pretty soon he stops trying to hold my hand and settles for just hugging me and laying his head on my should while my hands are at my side and I'm staring straight ahead. Then in one swift motion he grabs his stuff (lunch box and notepad) and walks to the LYNX bus, shows the driver his notepad and gets on. Just like that it was over. Gone. I was left feeling very confused. I glanced around for a minute and wondered what everyone around me was thinking. Then I decided I needed to wash my hands real quick before my bus came. So I did.

Yaahahah