Wednesday, December 2, 2009

it's not what you think

First off I'll start by clearing the confusion. This in not Santa. Santa has black gloves. This is Dale. He looks great in red and everybody loves him, mostly the ladies. Those are both statements of fact and not opinion. There is also a certain etiquette that accompanies Dale. He prefers to be saluted, it's the least you could for someone who always salutes you. The proper Dale salute also includes a belt grab (see image 1).

Dale and I first met in Orlando at a junk swap. Instantly my standard of living was improved. We hung out, went to pool parties, had animal pancakes and other such great fun. The sad part came in April when I returned home to Idaho and Dale stayed in Orlando to live it up and have adventures of his own. Finally, 7 months later and thanks to a pleasant visit from our friend Jared Soloman, Dale and I are once again kickin it. Yo.

The only problem is, it's December. Which means a lot of people have been disrespecting Dale a lot lately. It took a while but my roommates no longer call him Santa, at least not in front of me. But anytime someone comes to the door or comes over to visit we get asked, "whose Santa is that?" "Pshhhh!!! Not Santa. Dale. And he's his own." That's what I say. Anyway, if you do happen to stop by this Christmas season, or ever for that matter, please don't offend my friend as I will try not to offend you and yours.
Become a fan of Dale on Facebook.

Friday, November 27, 2009

the giving of thanks

So this Thanksgiving I am in Vegas visiting my Fiance (say it with a thick french accent, trust me it's more fun that way). The Barker family really knows how to party. After the traditional eating of food until there's none left or until you want to die, whichever comes first, I was ready for the just as traditional sit down on the couch and pass out while your body does its job with the digestion. However, I was not given the privilege of that tradition this year. Immediately after we ate it was time for the talent show.

I love talent shows. But for some reason no matter what my talent is it ends up being defined as a comedy act. The last 3 talent shows I can remember being in went like this: FHE talent show; I played my didgeridoo and screamed then my roommate Brandt and I sang a song about our Caribbean roommate Walsworth while Walsworth danced and it ended with me cutting my finger on the guitar and Brandt howling like a monkey. Next, Birthday Talent Show (2nd Bday in the mission); we went to a park in the mission and everyone did obscure talents amongst the tree. I ended up freestyling a song on the guitar. It ended with me scatting and explaining to people that that was the sound a ship makes. Lastly, we had a mission talent show my 3rd week in the mission. I did magic tricks with using only my fingers, displayed my coveted one handed clapping and finally convinced my companion that he could lasso bananas out of the air. He couldn't do it. All ended with everybody laughing at me.

Thanksgiving Talent Show: Barker House 2009 went about the same way. There were great music talents; a piano duet by Hannah (9) and Riley (11), another piano duet by Megan and Paul (18), mama Barker signed (ASL) a song, Katie (14ish) played a Taylor Swift song on guitar, and then Brody (16) solved a Rubik's cube in about 2 minutes (not very musical but still very impressive). All great talents. I started my talent by pulling a crumpled peice of paper out of my pocket and smoothing it out. After that it was like giving candy to baby (intentional misuse of expression) they ate it up. I then explained that although I would be playing guitar they could probably consider my talent to be comedy. I then improved a song about things that I'm thankful for which included jokes about dinner and everybody in the family. It was good.

And that's how it goes in the Barker house. We had a blast and the Thanksgiving Talent Show: Barker House 2009 was a big hit. I think there might be a recording of it floating around, I'll try to find it and post it.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

what happens in Vegas...

so I'm in Vegas for the week of Thanksgiving and I'm visiting Megan and her family and it's great. Everyday I spend the entire day doing homework and playing games with Riley and Hannah (11 and 5) consequently I'm not doing as much homework as I should be.

My first day here we went to the park with Megan's younger siblings. Most people played tennis, Hannah played on the playground and I took a disc, of course. I was only there for a couple minutes when some guy asked me if I played Ultimate. He must be an Ultimate angel because He answered all my Ultimate prayers. He asked if I was from the area and I told him that I was only here for the week but that I'd be moving down the first of January. He invited me to play with a group of guys that play in the area. He didn't know exactly when they were playing so he called another guy and gave him my number. That guy called me later and I gave him my email so he could send me directions to the field. He also mentioned in the email that they are looking at putting a team together for Trouble In Vegas. It's the biggest Ultimate tourney in the world and it's held right here in Vegas in early February. It going to be a blast!

I'm am actually way excited to live in Vegas for the winter because the weather is always good. I just came from playing in below freezing temps, snow and wind. Vegas only has good weather, never below freezing not a lot of wind if any and it only snows once every 12 years or less. So I can play year round now. If you can't tell I like Ultimate.

Aside from Ultimate it has been great being here. After I do homework all day Megan comes home from work and we get to spend all evening together. That really has been the best part of the break. This whole semester I've only seen her 2 other times. But now I'm here and it's great. And Thanksgiving is going to be amazing. So pretty much that's what happens in Vegas.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Ya I don't even know

Sooooo... all I've been doing for the past couple months is going to school, doing homework, talking to Megan on the phone until one of us falls asleep and playing Frisbee.

I've been coaching an Ultimate team up here on campus at BYU-Idaho. I've never coached before but I am having a blast. It really is a new look at the sport. I'm not gonna brag about how well my team is doing. However, I will say that we are not in last. Actually we have the same win record as the last placed team the only difference is that we have more points in the season than they do. Tonight is game one of our league tournament. That is actually why I have time now to blog. I don't want to do any of my homework for this weekend yet and I'm trying to lay low and get ready for the game. Although my team have a bad record I really think that we have a good chance of winning the t-shirt (see former post titled Campion). I'm optimistic because there are a lot of young new players on my team and the whole season we've been working on learning the game and how to work as a team. The past couple weeks we have been looking really good and playing together beautifully. We'll see if we can put it together tonight.

On an awesome note, BYU-I just held their first ever disc golf tourney. Justin Cutler (Captain) and I jumped all over that. It was a doubles tournament. We played 5 rounds at the near by 9 hole course at the nature park. The park is new and it's pretty ghetto. The baskets are cheap and the chains are light weight. If you know what I'm talking about then you know it's not good. If you don't know, just assume they're not good. Anyway we played and the results are in. Captain and I won the tournament. Our final score was 5 under in 5 rounds. So we didn't play super well but we did well enough. No other team even scored under par. In fact we beat the next team my 8 strokes. So once again I am a Disc Champion. I should be receiving my t-shirt soon.

Anyway, wish us luck tonight and I'll do my best to keep ya'll posted not only on Ultimate but on what I do.

Friday, August 21, 2009

3-D tetris

This post will be begin with a few disclaimers and finish with something that should make you laugh. So stay tuned.

You can all stop worrying, I am not deathly ill.
My nasal passages are clear and breezy.
The mucus has subsided.
My tonsils have deflated.
And my ears are less and less plugged everyday. They do however, I think, change with the tides. I say this because the pressure and fluid in my ears fluctuates. There are consistent times of day when they are more plugged and times when they are almost clear and unnoticeable. This is what leads me to believe that the pressure in my ears is directly correlated to the position of the moon, like the tide in our oceans. My ears are like nature, how poetic.
Anyway I'm not way sick so you can stop worrying...mom.
and I don't have mono...Jared.

I don't remember what else I was going clarify. Uhhhhh....

Anyway, today at work was a great day, and for this reason.
After pulling around a BMW 325i (small car) I stood back and, with all the strength I could muster so as not to laugh, watched as a woman and 3 teenage girls tried to load their luggage into the truck of this undersized vehicle. -Just to help with the visual aspect of this story I feel it is necessary to mention that all four of these ladies was, to say not so politely, large. I mention this only because had they not been of such a stature I would not have laughed nearly as hard to myself.- They had way to much luggage then could fit comfortably in their car. 4 large duffel bags (packed so tight the zippers were bursting), 2 small duffel bags, 1 standard suitcase, and a mess/array of plastic grocery bags for of unused or half eaten groceries and related items. They tried with all their might just to load all the large duffel bags and the suit case into the trunk. They heaved and hoed and pushed and smashed those bags until at last all were in the trunk (the smaller duffel bags were forfeit to the back seat, no attempt to trunk them was made). Now with all the large item securely crammed into the car there was only the question of where to put all the smaller stuff. Few items (half a bag of potato chips) were even surrendered to the trash and never made it into the luggage mosh pit. Bags full of unopened TP and dryer sheets were weaved into whatever crevasse could be found. Half eaten boxes of cereal were smashed into whatever space could, or couldn't, be found without a thought of what must be happening to the contents of their breakfast to dear to them to part with. And finally Poptarts were removed from their box and were inserted like credit cards into the last remaining pocket of air. I half expect them to retrieve the bag of chips and dump it on top just to be sure every space was sufficiently used and nothing was left behind. The 4 girls then climbed into the car and dragged away. Not laughing out loud was one of the hardest things I have had to do in a long time. It's moments like that that make my job worth enduring.

P.S. my job isn't really excruciatingly bad. It's just funnier if I make it more dramatic.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

i brake for summer

Spring semester is over and done with. I did better than expected in almost all of my classes. hurray.

So what does one do when he's done with school and has 7 weeks before it begins again? Catch up on sleep? Get a job? Play disc golf for endless hours a day? I say unto you nay! If you remember my last break from school resulted in a trip to Orlando to drive monorail for the Mouse. Staying in Idaho for the break just wouldn't do, I have to much to love for. So I've packed up again and headed off to another "exotic" location, sunny Las Vegas, NV.

I guess you all want to know why Vegas and how I'm liking it so far.
Why Vegas: 2 words... Megan Barker. I wasn't about to let her get away and the only way to make sure of that was to follow her home to Las Vegas. Now I'm staying with her family and having a blast. Also Megan, through a friend of hers, was able to find me a job valet parking (but that falls more under the realm of how I'm liking Vegas).

How I like it/what I've been doing: IT'S HOT!!! I have a job valet parking. Sounds great right? (rhetorical) It's not quite what you think. It would be a great job if I worked better hours. Right now I'm working 12 a.m. to 8 a.m. some would call that graveyards. Gross. 90% of the work I do is during the first and last hours of my shift. The rest of the time I sit on a bench and wait and read and try not to fall asleep (sometimes). But at least I have a job and it's not super physically demanding, just boring. I do however find great pleasure in flirting with old women as I hold open doors for them. All the time people will ask me questions about the area. Where's the closest place to eat? Where's the best place to gamble? Where are the best bars and clubs? How do you get here or there? And honestly I don't have a clue. I don't know anything about Vegas or where things are. So I've gotten pretty good and giving people really vague directions and such. Sometimes it is really fun and I laugh to myself about it a lot.

Fortunately work is not the only thing here.IT'S HOT. We went to the "Pinball Hall if Fame" it's pretty much just a pinball arcade with a ton of machine and some way cool old school pinball machine (rhyme unintended).

Megan and I were walking thru some of the casinos just looking around and stuff and we saw the best thing ever. We saw an Orthodox Jew playing black jack. Pfft. My mind exploded. I had no idea a Jew could be so loose with his money.

Megan's littlest sister, Hannah (palindrome), who is 5 loves me. When I first got here she was mega shy and probably scared of me. That lasted about a day. Now we like best friend. Everyday she asks me to play games with her or read books with her or look at her coloring/sticker books with her. We're pals. Megan's brother, Riley 10, likes me a lot too. Probably because I give him attention and I'm not a jerk to him when he's acting like a 10 year old. Between Hannah and Riley I pretty much always have an extra shadow. No biggie.

The Wedding: I just arrived back in Vegas after going to Daniel Jensen's wedding to Ashley Hoffman. So cute. Daniel is my best friend since the womb, so obviously I had to be there. Who else could be the best man. Our friend Andrew Wood was the other groomsman. Pretty much all we did was sit around and wait to take a few pictures and wear some nice black suits with really ugly vest/tie combos. My vest was orange and Andy's was pink. We're not talking pastel or other nice shades. You could land a plane or safely hunt large game with the vest's we were wearing. But what do you do right, your best friends bride tells you to wear an ugly vest then you wear an ugly vest. (Ashley if you're reading this Andrew and I both loved the vests and wished we could have bought them instead of just rent) Overall the wedding was great and they're both way happy and I got free food. Good Day.

But now I'm back in Vegas and I'm sick. My head hurts, my ears are plugged up, sometimes I have a fever, my tonsils are swollen and my throat is full of mucus. But I'm not mad. I haven't been sick for a while I guess it's my turn. If anybody asks I'm sick because I don't sleep well working graveyards.

That's about all I have to say about my recent activities and journeys in the land of Vegas. Oh ya and Megan and I are engaged...to each other.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

champion

Not to long ago my competitive Ultimate team up here at BYU-I played in the school competitive tournament.  We entered the tourney ranked 2nd and with only one loss on the season so we had high expectations.  To make a long story short the Vikings (my team) were victorious over the Knights (# 1 ranked team) in the championship game, making us the BYU-Idaho Spring Semester Competitive Ultimate Champions! Ya.

This entry isn't so much about Ultimate as it is about me being a champion.  Ever since we won I've been telling everyone "I'm a Champion."  I'm sure it's getting way annoying to Megan because she has to hear me say it like a hundred times a day.  Every time we meet someone new or bump into somebody I haven't told yet I make it a point to say something like, "I don't know if you heard, but I'm a champion." Or if anyone compliments me on anything I usually say "well... I am a champion." mixed in with a smug facial expression.

I had been a champion for about a week and the thrill of letting everyone know was slightly, just slightly wearing off.  Then we had the Ultimate players banquet.  That is where awards were given.  Everyone on my team was given a sweet BYU-Idaho Competitive Sports Champion T-shirt.  All that did was re-encourage me, except now I have a prop.  I can wear my sweet Champion T-shirt and walk up to people turn around and show them the back of my shirt. "Do you like my shirt?" I might ask. "Ya, I'm a champion" will be my reply.

Along those same lines my roommate's (Justin Bade) soccer team made it to the finals as well. Their game was last night.  I was so excited for him. I told him that if he won we would have 2 champions living in our apt. Unfortunately his team did not win and apt. champion count remains at 1. Sorry Bade.

This all probably makes me sound completely conceded but it's ok. I've had a ton of fun with it.  I think it's funny and know that my mom, sisters and Megan are all rolling their eyes at me right now and that makes it all worth it.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

doing stuff outdoors

So you thought you were going to get a blog entry from Shaun but you were wrong.  This is Megan, and I'm writing because I know that there are dozens of people waiting in anxious anticipation for new updates from Shaun and we have fifteen minutes before this dinner thing.  ANYWAYS, I thought I'd share some highlights from the last month, which has been rather outdoorsy in nature.  When I say outdoorsy, I mean outside?  Basically, Shaun is from Idaho (gross) and is convinced that doing things like camping and hiking around in nature are necessary for a complete and satisfying life.  I, on the other hand, like doing things that don't involved bugs or dirt, but I'm usually up for an adventure.

Well, our first adventure this month was going to Yellowstone.  Even though I've been going to school in Rexburg for 4 years, I have never been to Yellowstone.  We went on a Saturday with great aspirations.  We drove two and a half hours to get to Old Faithful, because apparently everyone needs to see that.  We got there and it started raining, so we ate our picnic in the drizzle, which wasn't terrible.  Then Shaun went to the car to get me the umbrella, and we ended up missing Old Faithful by four minutes.  No problem, right?  We'll just walk around for ninety minutes until the next one.  We started walking down this paved road and I could see a lot of buffalo on the side of the path, and they had little babies with them.  We kept walking closer and closer until we were about 100 yards from them.  And then it happened.  I felt something warm and gross on my right foot.  I looked down, and what are the odds that my entire moccasin was submerged in buffalo crap?  Yeah.  Gross.  I did not react well.  In fact, I was whining and trying not to throw up while attempting to wipe off my shoe, but there was no hope.  So I'm hopping up and down on the path and freaking out and Shaun is just standing there laughing.  I was getting so upset, and Shaun was trying not to laugh really hard, but he just couldn't help it.  Then it started raining harder and we could hear thunder.  Apparently, so could the buffalo that were getting closer and closer to us.  In my trauma, I hadn't noticed that the path we were standing on was actually directly in the middle of the herd.  They started snorting and trotting towards us, either to protect their little babies or to get out of the rain.  You can say they weren't even focused on us at all, but when there's a buffalo that's bigger than the car you drove to get there and it's 20 yards from your face, you get a little scared.  Or a lot scared.  So it's raining really hard by that point, I'm surrounded by menacing buffalo, and I'm hopping on one foot.  It was awful.  And then we left.  The outdoors are so great.

For the fourth of July, Shaun's family has this tradition.  Some may think it's kind of strange, but they assured me that a lot of people do it for fun as a family.  They go camping.  I don't really love camping, but I love Shaun, so I went.  They camped at Island Park, which is only about an hour from Rexburg.  So in my mind, I'm thinking why not just play outside all day and then drive home, shower, and sleep in my own bed?  What's wrong with that? Then you get the experience of mosquitos attacking you by day but NOT by night, right?  Wrong.  Apparently there is something that people find immensely satisfying about cooking without traditional appliances, getting dirty and covered with Off, and smelling of smoke and sunscreen.  Weird.  However, I have to admit that it was pretty fun.  I had a great time.  We went rafting down Big Springs on Friday, and even though Shaun made me use the little paddle and didn't show me how to use it correctly, we still had a blast.  Oh wait, he did show me how to use it when we were ten minutes from the end.  He proceeded to demonstrate the girly way I had been holding the paddle for the last 3 hours and showed me the right way.  Ridiculous.  Now I'll know for next time I suppose?  And I can't be really upset that I went camping, because his family didn't get mad that I used up more than half of their bug spray by myself.  I'm pretty sure I had a cloud of repellant that resembled Pig Pen's aura from Charlie Brown, but I came away with only 5 bug bites, a feat if I do say so myself.  So all in all, a good experience.  Thank you Mayos for waiting to make fun of me when I was gone.  Gotta love the outdoors.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

where have I been

This post comes to our viewers due to popular demand. And the fact that Megan went home for a week and if I don't do it now this will never happen.

Since it's been a while and a lot has happened this is probably going to be quite lengthy and it probably won't be as humorous as you've become accustomed to.  Now that you've been warned you can back out now if it sounds like to much to handle.  Also for your convenience this post will be separated into sub-topics of events. So just skim til something sounds good.

Dry Ice

My roommate Brandt and Megan and I were talking about dry ice and all the great (safe) things you can do with it.  About the next day Megan and I walk into my apt. and Brandt is there with a fatty block of dry ice.  I guess all that talk got to his head and given him some great ideas.  Anyway, Brandt is playing with this block of dry ice, he's breaking off pieces and tossing it around and holding it and putting it in his mouth and blowing "smoke" and whatever.  We watched/laughed at him for a while then decided to leave. Just as we were headed out Brandt put another chunk of dry ice in his mouth and said something about it breaking in half and swallowing a piece.  Next thing he says is he telling us to wait for a second.  He then said something about feeling weird in the stomach.  Then he burped.  And it happened. Just like out of the movies a puff of "smoke" came out of his mouth. pfft!! Blow my mind! 
P.S. Brandt is a dragon.


Seattle

A few of us went to Seattle for Memorial Day weekend. Here are a few of the highlights:
-Seeing a badger battle on the side of the road in Montana. Enough said.
-Doing lemonade shots in a gas station Subway. Lemonade shots consist of purring a sugar packet into a lemon juice packet and sucking it down. Thanks Adam.
-Sparkling.  Megan and I were at the wedding reception of her friends Matt and Hillary.  Some lady, I have no clue who she was, decided to take it upon herself to tell me that I sparkle.  What does that even mean? I guess it was a really sunny day, maybe the sun was reflecting off my glasses into her eyes and that's what she was referring to. hmm?  But for whatever reason, we may never know, I sparkle.  Thanks nosy old lady.
-Pikes Place Market.  Pikes Place is a huge street market swarming with all kinds of people. There were dirty people, clean people, creepy people, less creepy people, scary creepy people, people that smell like fish, people that would smell good if the smelled like fish, people that throw fish, people that catch fish, happy people, Asian people, smiley people, entrepreneur (street performers) people, old people, young people, and everything in between people. And stuff. All kinds of trashy flea market trinkets, hand made jewelry, t-shirts, flowers, food stuff for eating, fish, pottery, and just tons of stuff you want but never want to pay for. Needless to say it was a pretty sweet place.
-Folk Life Festival.  Pretty much a huge hippie fest right in downtown Seattle.  Tons of hippies selling hippies stuff and doing hippie things.  The only thing more rampant than the diseases was the hemp, it was a beautiful thing.  Street musicians everywhere playing their hearts out.  Food stands not concerned in the least with sanitation.  Hookahs, smoke and street artists. filled in all available space.  I'm pretty sure this was a family friendly event.  If you have never been to a Folk Life Festival you need to go.  But be careful, your mind just might implode.
-Richard sleep deprived.  One of the funniest things I've have ever witnessed in my life. The last 30 minutes of our 13 hour drive home Richard Templeman was hilarious.  And of course it didn't help that we were provoking him with ridiculous questions.  He was saying outrages things most of which I don't remember tho. But he sang songs about Battle Mt. NV in the style of Macy Gray. And we found out the the board game Risk Jr. is only half the world.
-Gum wall. We went to a comedy show downtown late one of the night. Outside the venue in the alley was awesome. The walls of the alley all around the door of the venue was covered in gum.  I don't mean there was a lot of gum I mean you couldn't see the wall until about 8 ft up the wall.  Any color you can imagine they had it. If you think about it a lot that's really gross but if you just take it for what it is it's amazing.
-Other stuff we did. We saw the troll under the bridge. Which is just a troll carved out of the rock under a bridge across from Seattle.  It's a huge troll and actually pretty cool. We Also went to EMP it's some kind of music museum. They also had a science fiction museum area and at the time a Jim Henson exhibit. There were muppets like Kermit the Frog, Bert and Ernie, and Oscar the Grouch. AND some characters from The Dark Crystal. pfft.
So needless to say Seattle was super great.


Ultimate

Stop rolling your eyes Megan.
I'm gonna tell you why summer/fall track at BYU-I is the best.  Summer/fall (AKA the Party Track) features not only the greatest weather that Idaho has to, or can, offer but it also features Ultimate. There is no Ultimate Winter semester. Ultimate, also know as Ultimate Frisbee, is the greatest sport ever created. And now that school's started again so have the games. I'm playing on 2 team. The recreation team, Team Toes (named in memory of our friend Kyle Daniels, formally known as Toes) is made up of a couple of my roommates and a conglomeration of my friends guy and girls. Admittedly we're not the best team in the league but we sure have a blast.  The other team I'm on is a "competitive" team. We have an amazing team. So far this season we only have 1 loss and about 5 wins. Between games for both teams and practice for competitive I play Ultimate about 4 days a week. It's great. Stay tuned for updates on how my competitive team is doing.


School

Oh ya, schools going good. I'm really enjoying all my classes, no joke. 


Birthday

I turned 22 on Sunday, that was cool.  On Saturday morning Megan threw me a not so surprise birthday breakfast party. On Friday I came home after class and my roommate Justin asked me if I was going to Megan's for breakfast tomorrow. I just looked at him really confused and said what. He said "Megan Barker, your girlfriend." He said there was an invite for the breakfast on facebook. I still didn't know what he was talking about til Justin said something about it being for her birthday. I told him that her birthday was in Nov. Then I told him that It was probably a surprise party for me because I didn't know about it and my birthday was that weekend.  Justin felt really bad. But I told him that I wasn't mad.  But don't worry Justin Megan told me about the party Friday night but only because she thought that someone else had already told me. Either way it was really funny and the breakfast was great. Thanks Megan, your the best.

I think that's all I want to talk about right now. Thanks for playing. Come again

Saturday, May 2, 2009

defeated

The title says it all. That's exactly how I felt.  The other day Megan and I went to IF and we were going to fly a kite. That's not how it worked out.  We first found this small, sweet looking kite.  It was the kind that was a half circle at the top and square at the bottom which fanned out into about a dozen tails.  The first hint at disaster should have been recognized upon opening the kite.  It didn't even have string with it so I had to find some on my own, also the only thing to hold its shape was a flimsy, brittle looking stick. 

Needless to say, the kite didn't fly.  In fact it didn't even come close. The kite barely made it out of the back yard before it fell apart.  I mean not only did the stick fall out but the entire tail section of the kite dislocated itself from the rest of the kite. Bogus.  So we went back inside to find another kite.

We then decided to borrow this huge monstrous 3-D kite from my little bro. Colin.  The kite was supposed to look like some kind of kid on a skateboard, but I thought it looked more like a pirate ship, whatever.  The words "some assembly required" don't even begin to represent how difficult this thing was to put together.  The entire kite came smashed in a tube that was about a yard long.  It took entirely too long to put this kite together. Probably close to half and hour.  That's way to long for kite assembly. Not only did it take way too long but it was not easy. I don't know how kids are supposed to be able to do that kind of stuff.

Anyway FF >>>>> now we're at the park and trying to get this kite up and things are not going well.  We spent probably an hour on this kite and I think the longest it was ever in the air at one time was out 45 seconds.  We tried everything to get the kite up and no success. 

Now back to the title. That's how I felt, defeated.  Usually I'm good at most things I do or even try. And I've had a lot of experience flying kites, I'm not exactly a kite rookie. But for some reason there was nothing I could do to get that blasted kite in the air.  And Megan was great, she just laughed a little at the defeated look on my face and cheered me up with a hug.  Oh well maybe next time I'll get a real kite. None of this 3-D or half circle junk, psh.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

never enough time

OK. check it. This just happened about 5 minutes ago.
One thing that I know how to do well is procrastinate (don't judge you all do it too). Last night I did my Old Testament homework real late cause that's how I roll. And I went to bed telling myself that I would do my Comm. 111 (Writing for Comm. careers or something like that) homework after my photography lab and before my other classes. My Photo lab was scheduled from 8a.m. 10:30 or something like that and my next class isn't until 12:45. So that should be plenty of time to read a newspaper article and write a paragraph about what I thought about the writing. No big deal.

So I wake up reeeeeeaaaaaaaal early, we're talking 7:15. Ya I know pathetic right. Anyway my tired mind tells me that I'll probably be working with chemicals and it probably isn't a good idea to wear my really nice leather wrist watch. So I grab my $13 rubber ish watch, strap it on and head off to the lab.

Things are going great, we're learning how to wind film onto spools for developing or whatever. Then he goes through the entire process of developing film and using the chemicals and all that jazz so that we know how to do it. I'm not really paying attention to the time at all so I have no clue what time it really is. I'm not even looking at my watch while I'm developing my own film because we have big timer clocks that I'm looking at for time. All I know is that I've been in the lab for a while.

Anyway, by the time I get done with my film I'm headed home and decide to look down at the time. My watch says 11:53. HOLY STAB!!! I have less than an hour get home, read an article, write a paragraph, print it off, and get to class and somewhere in there eat food. I think I'm gonna be rushed. So I book it home, grab a Scroll (school paper) on the way and dash into my room. First thing I do is print off my Old Test. homework from the night before. While that's printing I slap together a pbj and start eating. Then I sat down on my bed with the computer on my lap and the Scroll in my hands and start looking for an article I can read. somewhere in here I glance down at the computer screen and notice that the time says 10:22. That's odd I thought it was about 12:22 by now. Then it hits me. I just got home from Orlando and I havn't worn this watch since I was in Florida. It really was 12:22... in Florida. So now I'm taking a deep breath and eating the last few bites of my pbj. I have 2 more hours to procrastinate doing my homework.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

cookies, hot tang and the late night bathroom scandal

This is likely to be random and not make a lot of sense. So last night I was sitting around jammin/getting ready to head out, when I hear a rap-tap-tap on the door. So I got up and answered it. And guess who it was. COOKIES! Ya Cookies. If you know who that is then you know how I felt. I you don't know who I'm talking about I'll try to fill you in. Cookies (obviously a nickname, one which he has no knowledge of) is a CP here He's also in the ward. He is in the top 5 most socially awkward people I've ever been around club. I'm not trying to be a jerk, he's just really that awkward. I don't have time for examples right now.

Anyway he says to me "guess what I did today?"
Me "Held up a 7-11?'
Cookies "Close, I locked myself out of my apt."
Me "Wow, that sucks"
Cookies "Can i sleep on your couch tonight?"
Me "Where's your roommates?"
Cookies "They've gone home already."

Of course my mother taught me better than to just make him sleep in the stairwell so I invite him in. However I'm not about to entertain Cookies for the evening. I explain to him that I was just headed out but he can chill here and watch movies on my laptop or whatever and I'll be back later. PS sorry for the surprise Jordan and Brandon (my roommates). Coming home to Cookies asleep on the couch is probably not your idea of a fun evening.

Anyway so I head over to Jenica's place and we chill and make some delicious food, which was great because I'm out of food and I refuse to buy any between now and when I leave in 4 days. While in the process of making the food we're talking about great things and Tang (it's a kick in the glass) comes up. But not just Tang (it's a kick in the glass) but hot Tang (it's a kick in the hot glass) so delicious. And she had some so we made hot Tang (it's a kick in the hot glass) and drank it and it was super amazing.

We gave some to Jenica's roommate Brittany (shout out) because she's never had Tang (it's a kick in the glass) before. It was great because after the first taste you could tell it was not what she expected. And the only words good enough to describe it were "Tangy" (it's a kick in the glassy)

Fast Forward>>>>>> now I'm in bed asleep and for some reason my roommate is struggling to open the bathroom door. Why is the bathroom door locked and nobodies inside. He tries the "stick a coat hanger in the little hole" bit. That doesn't work. So I get up and try to card the door open. All I did was manage to break my card in half. Sorry Multnomah County, I guess I won't be using your library anymore. Finally we just decide to take the door knob off but in our apt full of guys none of us has a screwdriver. huh!? So we use a butter knife to unscrew the freakin door knob. We don't know how the door ended getting locked because we usually don't even close the door at night. I think we decided to blame Cookies.

what's the deal with buses

This is a shout out to every CP who has ever worked the rediculous 8pm - 4am shift. But even if you have never had the blessed opportunity of experiencing that shift you still might enjoy this.

2 words- Pavlov's Dog. That's what I am. Anytime I get on the bus I'm immediately tired. I don't know what it is but the bus is my bell. And returning home from work at 4 am only makes it worse. The problem is, the last thing I, or anybody, should ever want to do is sleep on these buses.

First of all you don't know what creeps are going to watching/staring at you while you're asleep on the bus. Going along with that people do unattractive things while they sleep. ie: Snoring. Or when your head falls back and your mouth flops open, that's cute. Even worse is the "I'm trying not to fall asleep head nod" which is always accompanied by awkwardly looking around to see if anybody notice, guess what, EVERYBODY noticed. And the worst of all is drooling all over yourself. Any of these are a very real possibility and probability.

Secondly there's always the fear of oversleeping your stop. So you either don't sleep very well because you're waking up at every slight decrease of momentum just to be sure you don't miss your stop. OR...you just konk out and have to hope you wake up in time because if you don't you have to go through stress and waisted time of trying to find out how you're going to get home now without riding the bus for another hour while it to goes around the cycle.

Third and my personal favorite reason why you should never sleep on the bus. The Windows. Every window next to every seat on the bus is coated with some sort of film. A thick layer of grease, oil, hair gel, makeup and whatever else has been coming off of everybodies heads and faces while they sleep on the bus. For some unknown reason it's a great idea to rest your head against the window and take a nap on the way to and from work. Thus despensing a bit of your special head funk for everyone else to enjoy. mmm...sounds good. I don't think that American Coach has ever bothered to clean their buses either because the head funk is always there. And don't think that you can get away with just sleeping against the head rest because it's there too you just can't see it.

So there you have it. Three great reasons why you should never sleep on the bus. No matter how tired you are it's never worth your time. Just wait til you get home and can actually enjoy your sleep without the fear of disease.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

the man at Panera (i'll call him Charlie)

My dearest Charlie,

You don't know me but I feel like I really need to say this. I hope you're okay. This is about the time Jenica and I saw you in Panera. You sat in the booth adjacent to our table. You ordered a wonderful looking "You pick 2," soup and sandwich. You also had an amazing looking smoothy, mmmmm...

The moment I saw you I knew something was wrong, you weren't eating your food. The entire time you sat there you were just staring at it with displeasure. Something must have been weighing heavy on your mind because food that grand could never bring displeasure. You were just pushing your soup around in the bowl. You only took one bite of your sandwich. And after every sip of your smoothie you would set it down and push it away is unsatisfied, yet it was the only thing you would return to. Your head was hanging low and the expression on your face almost brought tears to my eyes as well.

We never spoke but you may have heard me mention you to Jenica, "Check out this guy, he looks way depressed." Maybe our whispers weren't hushed enough and you heard us talking about you. I assure you everything we said was out of concern. Your entire time spent in Panera was spent alone, in a corner, with your uneaten spread of delicious.

Then without warning or provocation you got up and left, leaving your food and taking only yourself and the smoothie. It must have brought you temporary solace. At first I thought you were just going to retrieve something from your car and return to finish the meal, but when you got in your car (2008 Ford Mustang, red) and began to pull out, confusion was added to my concern for you.

I never saw you again, I hope nothing drastic has taken place. Maybe some day you can find the peace in your life that will allow you to enjoy the wonderful taste of Panera Bread. Best of luck to you Charlie.

Sincerely and with concern,

Shaun Mayo

P.S. I really wanted to take eat your baguette, but I didn't. I didn't think it would be right.

Friday, March 20, 2009

the quintessential bus stop story (it's long but goooooood)

This is it. The most awkward bus stop experience I've ever had.

I was walking to the bus stop after getting off work and as I did I passed by a man sitting on a bench (we'll call him Trevor) . By the was he was acting and sitting I knew that he was autistic. As I was walking past he offered me the fist, so I pounded it, threw in a "right on" and kept walking. No big deal.

I sat down and proceeded to wait for the bus. A couple minutes later I notice Trevor get up and walk over in my direction and sit down next to me. It's all good I don't mind sitting next to strangers or even making new friends. Trevor must think I'm nice or something for pounding him. Trevor doesn't talk he just makes gestures and throws in a few grunts.

He sits down and gives me the rock so I pound it again. Then he shakes my hand. Then we slide into the hands upward, fingers over the top, bros handshake. So Trevor's got style, cool. Except he doesn't let go of my hand. He then proceeds to kiss my hand. Except he didn't really kiss it. More like he just holds my hand against the lip part of his face. Weird. I'm playing it calm, don't want to make a scene. After about 5 seconds I pull my hand away with a "alright...cool uhhhuhuh." (stalling 1... stalling 2...) Then he hugs me! Ya. As he's hugging me he's also vigorously slapping my back. So I give him a couple slaps on the back and start to push him away a bit. Finally we're just sitting next to each other again. No contact.

So I'm thinking, maybe he's got all the greetings out of the way. WRONG. He pounds me again, then continues with the entire thing all over again. The hand shake, the hand to face, the hug, all of it. So I just kinda roll with it because I don't know this guy, I don't want him to freak out and start yelling and make a scene or something if I refuse to shake his hand. After about 3 of these close introduction cycles I start praying that my bus will come reeeeeeeeal soon. He tries to shake my hand a fouth time and that's when I'm not cool with it anymore so I try to distract him. I start asking questions.
"Is that your lunch box, whathca got in there?"
"Cool notepad, what's it for?"
Nothing phases him he still really want to shake my hand. And he won't let go, and he's got a really strong grip. So I'm pulling my hand away but not to hard cause I don't want to hurt or upset him. He ignores all my quetions until "I like your braclet, what is it?" That got his attention. He then notices that I'm wearing a braclet too. And he tries to take. Ahhh, don't mess with my hemp.

I pull my hands away and look for something to keep them busy so he won't touch them anymore. So I pull out my cell phone and pretend like I'me texting. This time when he tries to shake my hand I'm "busy" and I tell him I can't shake right now.

-Sidenote- the entire time I'm honestly thinking 2 things
1. What would Jesus do in this situation?
2. When is my bus coming?

Pretty soon he stops trying to hold my hand and settles for just hugging me and laying his head on my should while my hands are at my side and I'm staring straight ahead. Then in one swift motion he grabs his stuff (lunch box and notepad) and walks to the LYNX bus, shows the driver his notepad and gets on. Just like that it was over. Gone. I was left feeling very confused. I glanced around for a minute and wondered what everyone around me was thinking. Then I decided I needed to wash my hands real quick before my bus came. So I did.

Yaahahah

Saturday, March 7, 2009

what are we teaching our kids

The other day I was at work, as I often do, and I had another one of those great "some people are so stupid" experiences. There was a young family waiting to board the monorail and as they waited they were talking about stuff that I didn't really care about. The mother decided to quiz her 4 ish year old daughter on where they had parked the car. The thought for a second and replied that they had parked in 11. That was right, what a smart child. The mother decided that that wasn't enough and was going to ensure that her daughter didn't forget where they had parked. So, the mother decided to do some kind of word game thing to help them remember.

The mother pointed out that 11 also happens to be located in Pluto. And that's when she proceeded to make the connections. That's when it all went down hill. She said that Pluto was also the furthest planet from the sun. FALSE. But I will give her a break because Pluto used to be a planet but is now considered a planetoid or some suedo planet thing. There may be a lot of people who don't know that that was changed so I will cut her some slack on that.

The next thing she said is what really got me. And I knew it was coming, I don't know if it was by revelation, a gut feeling, or some kind of Miss Cleo foresight but I knew what she was going to say next. She then said that 9 and 11 are both prime numbers. NOOOOO!!! So they are parked in the prime numberest planet parking area. WHAT!!! 9 is not, has never been and will never be a prime number. Fortunetly she did catch herself about 35 seconds later, but she jsut mumbled to herself that 9 wasn't a prime number and didn't really say anything to her daughter.

Hopfully that little girl doesn't remember that conversation for the rest of her life and hopfully she doesn't grow up under the false idea that 9 is prime. And hopfully her mother will figure out that Pluto is no longer a planet.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

dont be scared

This just happened.

I don't know if you even have those times when you have to take a moment and honestly think about why something came to your mind. I do. I honestly wonder what my mind is thinking sometimes.

I was doing laundry today and as I was going to pull my clothes out of the top half of stacked dryers it happened. I opened the dryer door and looked in, I saw the clothes in the dryer appeared to be trembling as if with fear and I thought to myself "why are my clothes scared?"

They were just sitting there shacking. Maybe they were afraid to leave the warmth of the dryer and enter into the cold, damp, dark air of my laundry bag. Maybe they were afraid of being dropped onto the floor below and thus becoming prematurely soiled. Or maybe it was the thought of being moved again after they had just gotten comfortable. It could have been any of these things that caused my laundry to tremble but I really think it was just the movement of the dryer they were on top of that caused them to shake slightly.

So ya, I stared at my clothes and wondered what was scaring them when it was really just someone elses quarters being put to good use. But I'm gonna pretend that they were scared. For some reason it makes me happy to think that my clothes have emotion and that I was there to witness their moment of fear.

Whatever. Don't ask me why I was thinking that or what I'm thinking now for that matter.

Friday, February 27, 2009

he probably uses antlers in all of his decorating

...and who doesnt' love waffles at 10 pm.
My friend Emmilie and went to the Waffle House the other night and it rocked. We were just chillin waiting for our order when the most amazing thing happened. A man came in and sat down a couple booths behind me. I don't know how I didn't notice him because I should have felt the awesome that he radiated, but i didn't. But as soon as I heard him speak I instantly admired this stranger.

The first words out of his mouth preceeded the question as to whether he was ready to order or not. He said "I'm ready to rock and roll whenever you are." Pffffft who says that. I wanted to badly to turn around and see who he was soooo bad and the more he spoke the more I just wanted to see who this man was. But I didn't want it to be awkwardly obvious so i just sat there. The next words he spoke were his order, "I'll have 8 eggs, hold the yoke on 6. Hashbrowns, can you steam those? and Wheat toast...dry." Later he requested that they throw a square of cheese on the eggs.

As soon as he ordered I asked Emmilie if Gaston was sitting behind me. She just laughed and nodded. And once he got his food Emmilie started laughing even more as Gaston proceeded to cover his plate with hot sauce. And he scarfed his food because he was not there long. When he did leave Emmilie made sure that got a good look at this Gaston character. He was HUGE. Big square chin, ginormous chest, and massive arms, and he probably stood about 6'3". He really did look like Gaston from the Beauty and the Beast. The only thing that tipped me off that he probably wasn't THE Gaston is that this man wore a green shirt and I'm pretty sure that Gaston wears a red shirt.

I've decided that the day I order "8 eggs hold the yoke on 6" is the day I become a real man. Seriously who does that. The only people who can do that are those who could pummel/devour in you in 3.2 seconds if you ever decided to make fun of their eating habits within ear shot of them. So between that and some great waffles we had an amazing night at the Waffle House.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

just a taste of what i've been up to

Chillin with the "JAMMitors"


Making new friends


Looking at fine art


Meeting the wildlife


and having a party


If you're not jealous you should be

Friday, February 6, 2009

sushi, kiwi, and santa

Today was my day off. So what does an ambition young single man like myself do on his day off? Not a whole lot. Earlier in the day I went to this sweet get stuff free "swap." It was pretty much all the stuff people didn't want to take home when they were done with their Disney program. I went with the dream of bringing home toaster and was blessed with so much more. I also ended up bringing home an ice cream scoop AND a sweeeeeeeeet plastic Santa. It's about 3 feet tall, plastic, hollow, and it illuminates when plugged in. And the best part is that it was all for FREE!

If that wasn't enough excitement for one day my afternoon nap was followed by a trip to get sushi. I went with my friend Emillie and her friend. I don't remember her name but I do know that it starts with an A. So I just call her by a different A name everytime (don't roll your eyes Jenni), I'll get her name right eventually.

Anyway the sushi was pretty good. I love sushi, but not in Idaho, coastal states only please. The real magic of the day started when we were walking home from sushi. Emillie said something about there being kiwis on the ground so naturally I looked. And there were. Not only that but they still in a plastic bag. So I picked them up. I thoroughly inspected the bag before taking it home, just to make sure that there were no holes or bugs or bad stuff like that. So I took them home and we ate them and watched Nacho Libre. What a great way to end a pleasently unproductive day, FREE KIWIS! and now I'm staring at my Santa and trying to think of a great new name for him. Isn't my life great.

P.S. if you read this I'm sorry I wasted time you'll never get back and could have using to do something worth while.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

does that make me a bad person?

Just FYI this is not going to be about her. My roommate Mikal, pronounced like Michael, has a fiance (Heather) who is also her at Disney and they'll be getting married in about a week. So she is always over her or he over there. Lately she's been over her a lot and I'm ok with that, she's generally a pretty nice problem so I have no prob.

Last night I got home from work around 11pm and was making some eats. She came in about ten minutes after I did, so I guess she has a key now, hmm. I sat down to munch some grub and check my e-mails. I knew every that Mikal was sleeping in his bedroom so I turned the music down to a reasonable volume. But the instant I turned the music on Heather says to me "do you have to have that on?" I just gave her a blank look that said "huh?" Then she said "Mikal is sleeping and I don't want you to wake him." I assured her that Mikal would be fine and the music wasn't loud enough to bother him. But she persisted and not only that she gave me the pouty puppy dog face. I CAN'T STAND the puppy dog face. It made me want to turn the volume up, but i didn't I'm not that big of a jerk.

1st of all, you don't live her Heather. 2nd, if Mikal is bothered by the music I expect him to be a big enough kid to come out and tell me himself. And 3rd, my music is not going to wake him anymore than you going in there to pet his hair or whatever you were doing going into his room while he's "sleeping."

Anyway she decided that she was going to go into his room and listen for the music and if she could hear it would continue our debate, if not it's over I win. This is the part I'm wondering about. She went into the room and as soon as the door closed I pushed mute. And as soon as the door began to open for her to come out I pushed unmute. She came out looking suprised. She honestly thought that she would hear my music. All she said was something about how our apt must be better sound proffed than hers. I just nodded.

So, viewers, that make me a bad person? Technically I cheated. What would you have done? Oh well it's over now. I win!

Friday, January 30, 2009

DUI?

I was working on the monorail platform at the Grand Floridian resort and spa. I was just doing my thing and loading guests onto the trains as they came in when this family came to the gates. As they waited for the train I didn't think they were odd at all because they all acted completely normal. One of the ladies in the group was using an ECV, commonly referred to as "one of those motorized wheelchair scooter things." No big deal I'll just drop the ramp when the train comes. And it did. So i put down the wheelchair ramp and stepped back. The lady in the ECV boarded first and everyone that was with her watched her very intently as she did so. But she got on safe no big deal. The best part came as the last of their party boarded the train and a man leaned to me and said "she had a little to much to drink tonight."

What! Look out here comes a driver under the influence. Stay off the sidewalks. Is that even legal? I laughed for a good while after that. I love my job.

Monday, January 26, 2009

you don't know i do that


There's a lot of people who wonder what I do with my time. Especially when it come to things like school, work and food. Some of you may think that I don't participate in one or any of these activities. The purpose of this is to convince you that contrary to popular belief I do in deed go to work, do homework and eat food.

My roommates last fall semester would always ask me if I ever did homework because they were always busy studying while I always wanted to play. What they didn't understand is that I did do homework, they just never saw me doing it. I usually did my homework right after class and before they would come home, or I did it after they went to sleep. I started class usually 1-2 hours after they did so I could afford to stay up later. Thus they never saw me doing homework and therefore had false ideas that all I did was play frisbee and guitar and hang out with my peeps.

My friends here in Florida think that I never work. It may have to do with the fact that I started work 3 days after they did and so for those 3 days all I did was ask people to come play with me. And now that I've started work I've had the weekends off so it seems like I don't work because they all work on weekends and I'm sure that they're just jealous. Also when I do work I work the late shift. So I play during the day and just sneak away for the evening.

This last part may come as a surprise to many of you (mom) but I do eat and sometimes I eat a lot. If I were to venture a guess as to why many people don't think I eat I would guess that it has to do with my lack of complaining about being hungry. I don't really get "hungry" my body does tell me that I need to eat, sometimes. But I'm never like "Ohhhhh I'm soooooo hungry I could die, blah blah blah..." I don't really feel hungry a lot and sometimes I eat because I know that I should and feel obligated to. Another reason why people may think that I never eat may be due to my perfect physique (stop rolling your eyes Jenni) and 6% body fat. I don't actually know my body fat %, that last part about the perfect physique was mostly a joke. Mostly.

Now for the truth, the real reason I disclosed all my deepest secrets is because I wanted to post a picture of my breakfast. I was delicious.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

It's a state!

Kids say some pretty funny/messed up things at times. I was working the platforms at the monorails the other night, which pretty much consist of me tell guests where to stand while they wait for the next train to come, and there was a family standing by me. There was a cute (blond hair, pigtails, the whole bit) little girl, about 4 years old, standing around smiling at everything, so I asked here "where are you from?" Her eyes got big and she instantly turned to her mom. She tugged on her moms coat tail and asked "can I tell him?" This girl was well trained.

We all laughed a bit (stranger danger). Mom said "it's ok you can tell him." The girl turned to me and told me that she was from Michigan. Then her mom told her to ask me where I was from. The girl once again checked for clearance then asked where I was from. I told her that I was from Idaho. Her parents did the polite "Oh Idaho blah blah blah..." But the girl look very confused. She looked up at me with concern in her eyes and with all seriousness asked "Is that like some kinds of coffee?"

"WHAT?" "NO! it's a state."

I don't know what kids are learning in pre-school these days but Idaho is not coffee.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

any minute now

I don't know what his name is. If I had to guess it would be Eugene or Jefferey, not Jeff, Jefferey. I met him at the bus stop but I'm not sure he met me seeing as how he did all the talking. In the 28 minutes it took for the bus to arrive I learned a lot more than I cared to about "Jeffery." I leaned how great it is to go to Disney's Hollywood Studios everyday before work and ride the Tower of Terror 4 time each morning. I learned that you can get high off of nutmeg, paprika is delicious if eaten straight. I now know where all the best bars and video arcades in town are. And I know that at -50 degrees frostbite can occur in 10 seconds. And how good Wendy's sounds right now.Thank you "Jeffery!" You've opened my eyes to a whole new world of possibilities.

Don't you love those people who want to talk so bad that they don't care of you're part of the conversation, just as long as you have a pulse and can mumble "ya" every 43 seconds or so. I think the most I said was when I interrupted to sarcastically comment on how great Wendy's sounds right now. I could not have appeared more uninterested had I been drooling all over myself. I wanted nothing more than to give "Jefferey" a plastic bag and tell him it was a Mickey Mouse mask. But I didn't all i did was mumble "ya" about every 43 seconds, stared straight ahead and keep reminding myself that the bus will come any minute now.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

What's been goin' on/we're not in Idaho any more

Many of you may know that in July of '08 I returned to Idaho from 2 years of serving the Lord in the Oregon Portland Mission (OPM). Since then I've been emloying my time by attending school at BYU-Idaho. I've also been helping myself to a healthy portion of frisbee playing (my true love). But, the semester is over and I've moved on to what's been called my next adventure.

I am now living in Orlando, FL about ten minutes from Walt Disney World. I am also working at Disney, as part of their college program (CPs) in their transportation department on the monorails. During the past weeks I've been going through my "Platform Training" which includes a harsh regiment of pushing the door open button and yelling at guests to "move down."

There are many things here that obviously imply that I'm no longer in Idaho. Some indications are: people asking how long I've lived in Iowa, everyone making a big deal about the ridiculous cold 45 degree nights and the ever present majestic palm tree. There are a lot of indications that I am no longer in Idaho but I think the biggest of all came to me just yesterday.

It started like a normal day, as all days do, but as I boarded the A bus for work I noticed something that appeared a bit odd. There were 2 CPs at the end of the mostly empty bus with their lips intertwined. I'm not saying I was surprised to see 2 people kissing, it's not something I'm unfamiliar with. I did graduate from high school and i had just spent 2 years in Portland, so the sight of 2 people expressing their love in public was nothing new. The part that caught me off guard and caused me to double take was the fact that both of them were men. huh.

Next at work my trainer, a retired catholic school principal named Jim, told me a story. -Just as some back ground on Jim. He stands about 5'6" tall and weighs in at about 300 lbs. Jim has arthritis in just about every joint in his body and both of his Achilles tend ends have been removed for some reason or another. Jim also moved here from Boston area Massachusetts.- As Jim was telling me about a visit he had made to the park on a particular day he made reference to his husband. And now you're doing what I did mentally you're going over that sentence again to make sure you got it right. Maybe Jim just misspoke, but a mistake isn't a mistake when it's made repeatedly. Jim indeed has a husband to go along with his love for the Catholic Church. huh #2

And just to put the icing in the cake on the bus ride home from work at about 12:15am that night the bus was occupied by a couple wrapped in each others warm embrace. Once again both men. huh #3

Now I'm not saying that I'm a hater or a homophobe, cause I'm not. I'm just saying that I was a little caught off guard and now I've learned my lesson. I'm not in Idaho anymore.

OK Everybody

OK everybody!
This is for all of you who decide to read this (mom). I thought it might be fun to blog about all the amazing things that happen in my life, or at least just what's going on. I'll try real hard to make this fun but we'll see what happens, but no promises.