what's the deal with buses

This is a shout out to every CP who has ever worked the rediculous 8pm - 4am shift. But even if you have never had the blessed opportunity of experiencing that shift you still might enjoy this.

2 words- Pavlov's Dog. That's what I am. Anytime I get on the bus I'm immediately tired. I don't know what it is but the bus is my bell. And returning home from work at 4 am only makes it worse. The problem is, the last thing I, or anybody, should ever want to do is sleep on these buses.

First of all you don't know what creeps are going to watching/staring at you while you're asleep on the bus. Going along with that people do unattractive things while they sleep. ie: Snoring. Or when your head falls back and your mouth flops open, that's cute. Even worse is the "I'm trying not to fall asleep head nod" which is always accompanied by awkwardly looking around to see if anybody notice, guess what, EVERYBODY noticed. And the worst of all is drooling all over yourself. Any of these are a very real possibility and probability.

Secondly there's always the fear of oversleeping your stop. So you either don't sleep very well because you're waking up at every slight decrease of momentum just to be sure you don't miss your stop. OR...you just konk out and have to hope you wake up in time because if you don't you have to go through stress and waisted time of trying to find out how you're going to get home now without riding the bus for another hour while it to goes around the cycle.

Third and my personal favorite reason why you should never sleep on the bus. The Windows. Every window next to every seat on the bus is coated with some sort of film. A thick layer of grease, oil, hair gel, makeup and whatever else has been coming off of everybodies heads and faces while they sleep on the bus. For some unknown reason it's a great idea to rest your head against the window and take a nap on the way to and from work. Thus despensing a bit of your special head funk for everyone else to enjoy. mmm...sounds good. I don't think that American Coach has ever bothered to clean their buses either because the head funk is always there. And don't think that you can get away with just sleeping against the head rest because it's there too you just can't see it.

So there you have it. Three great reasons why you should never sleep on the bus. No matter how tired you are it's never worth your time. Just wait til you get home and can actually enjoy your sleep without the fear of disease.